One thing about Us People.- Psychologist will tell you(as well as marketers) is that we all want to get away from pain and get more pleasure.
-Recently i realized that for 20 years i was doing whatever i could to get away from pain. i was getting into codependent relationships, doing drugs, drinking, hanging out with people who didn’t have many plans in life
ALL because i was afraid to be alone and was afraid i won’t have anyone who is going to love me.- but luckily and thanks to something on the inside of me, i always knew all that was temporary. I knew i will get better and i will become a person i always wanted to be!
Recently i had conversation with a person who had similar experiences in life and also from talking to other people. i realized that one of the biggest catalysts for our change was the fact that at some point we stopped being afraid to be alone.
Being alone for extended periods of time(apart from all other self development) forces you to get in touch with real YOU.
When you are alone you get to talk to yourself and you get to know yourself from inside out. you learn about your fears, your worries, your limitations, your weaknesses, your preferences and your true hearts desires!
And it is scary to go be alone! in fact it is one of the scariest things you can even do! the reason for that is. that fear of abandonment. Fear of abandonment for a child is equivalent to fear of death. as children we have to have care givers. Being left alone literally means death. and sometimes that fear can run in people deep into adulthood.- its one of the most difficult challenges to overcome. because it requires you to go through massive amounts of pain and experience “alone-ness”.
In fact its a MUST to experience what it means to be alone. to understand that no one in this world can (or ever will) help and love you, if you don’t learn to help and love yourself first! and that literally requires you to go and be ALONE as much as possible!
And funny thing is, the more you do it, the more you want to be alone! because no matter how social you are or how many friends or family you have, there will ever be anyone who knows you better than you!- and instead of getting away from pain. you gotta learn to embrace it! That’s where your treasures and blessings come from!- check out this service by TD JAKES. i was there personally and say it 3 times in one weekend! its so powerful! especially if you are going through some depression, anxiety or any other challenges that seem unbearable in your life at the moment!- the answers you seek are not outside! they are inside you! and the best way to find them is to start being alone!
Watch this Video By Bishop Jakes (T.D. Jakes)